Stepping Out

I want to live more boldly. I’m a chicken by nature, and rarely take risks. My family has an awesome story about the time I heeded a “no trespassing” sign, and walked three miles out of the way for fear of breaking the rules.

 As an Army family, we deal with enough “adventure” every few years by going through a deployment or a PCS (fancy acronym for moving), so I tend to play it safe in my daily life.

Lately, though, I’ve noticed that my tendency to lean toward the safe, comfortable confines of my home, church, and family means that I am missing out on something. So, I’ve decided to do things that make me uncomfortable, just to mix things up a little bit.

Yesterday, being bold meant leaving the “women only” section of my gym. You see, in the back corner of my gym is a smaller, hot pink room where women can work out without feeling self-conscious in front of guys.  As someone who currently feels like her backside is an entity separate from the rest of her body, I’ve been sticking to its hot pink confines, because NOBODY wants to see what I’ve got while it’s bouncing around on the elliptical.

The thing is, the pink room doesn’t have all of the equipment I need in order to get a full core workout. The rest of the stuff is out in the main gym where the dudes are.  Which means, if I want the abs of my twenties to return, I have to venture out of my comfort zone to achieve them.

So, I took a deep breath, walked out of the safety of the pink room, and did a legitimate core workout. I was so worried about what others thought of me: that they’d laugh about my wimpy self only doing fifteen reps of each exercise, or about my crappy form. You know who noticed what I was doing? Exactly zero people.  Everyone else was too focused on their own health to worry about me.

Aside from overcoming my fear of looking like an absolute fool, I also felt physically stronger. Not only had I been depriving myself of a sense of accomplishment, I had been depriving myself of better health, and a stronger body.

When I got home, I realized that I do the same thing in my spiritual life. How many opportunities to serve God have I passed up because I’m afraid of what others think? How many chances have I had to speak boldly for Him and remained silent instead? How have I spiritually weakened myself because I haven’t been willing to step out of my comfort zone? This was such a convicting moment for me.

This weekend, I’m attending the IF: Gathering in Austin. Alone. I (and 1,800 other women) get the awesome opportunity to gather with some of the most amazing Christian authors and speakers of my generation and learn how to live boldly for Jesus. Even though I’m excited about this event, I’ve thought of every excuse in the world to not go because it means stepping out of the safety of my pink bubble. 

But, I’m choosing to live fearlessly. So, off to Austin I go.